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Recent Movie Reviews

LOZ - Twilight Problem LOZ - Twilight Problem

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

That was awful

Just straight up unfunny. Got too much shit going on at once, like you keep throwing jokes at us hoping something hits.
And nothing does.
Oh look they fell, then its zant doing stuff, then it's oocaa (XDDD it's scuuuury O_o) then zant rocks out for no reason then midna starts reading then a beach ball burns her book RANDUUUUM JOOOKE ^_^

Sonic X: Cosmic Chase Sonic X: Cosmic Chase

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

An empty feeling

First off, Sonic X Cosmic Battle was my favorite flash when I first joined newgrounds.
I waited and waited for this to come out.
And now it has.
And it's...mediocre. Just incredibly mediocre.
You know what my favorite part of the trailer was? That brief shot if the city burning, and Shadow standing next to the chaos monster looking all badass.
What did that amount to in the flash? I dunno, backstory I guess, a Dragonball Z like boost to Sonics Morale.
Back in 2007, you made a news post regarding CC, that 1 minute of animation was left.
1 minute took you 3 fucking years
You know what happens in 3 years, atleast relatable to this? 3 Pixar movies came out.
Wall E, with particle effects out the ass and an incredibly charming love story
Up, another charming story with beautiful colors and tear jerking beginnings and endings.
Toy Story 3, another film with sentimental value to me, but this one delivered.
And in those 3 years? You completed 1 minute of animation.
While it is frame by frame animation, it's still just 1 minute of animation.
You lazy fuck.
Maybe it's just me. I was a rabid sonic fan in 2007, as you can tell by the name. But I still like a good kickass action flash, sonic or otherwise.
But still, 4 years of work, does not equal a weirdly drawn 7 minute animation

There's some debate, but overall people find this review helpful

Sonic Shorts: Volume 4 Sonic Shorts: Volume 4

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

oh hey, awful as always

The main problem is that none of these shorts are funny. You got fart jokes, sex jokes involving a 15 year old and a 12 year old, and jokes about someone getting scared,but OH WAIT, it was a guy in a costume.
Another big problem is that most shorts are not even about sonic, they're just slice of life situations with sonic characters.
Like the yogurt thing, just replace sally with luigi and sonic with mario, and boom, joke for a mario collab. Hell, I could do that in real life. Would the joke still make sense? Yes. Would it still be unfunny? Yes.

Recent Game Reviews

Story of the Blanks Story of the Blanks

Rated 3 / 5 stars

so yeah

I was into the story, but I couldn't get past the final pony to get out of the villaige, can someone fill in the story for me cause I wanna find out what happens, but fuck that final pony,


Rated 5 / 5 stars

fuck yeah

pussy got her milk

People find this review helpful!

The Breach The Breach

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Boring but good

You seem to know how to create a scary atmosphere, you just didn't succeed in making a fun game around it.
There is no challenge to it, just shoot and dodge their incredibly slow attack.
Also, the game absolutely got shitfucked. The character got a black box around him the exact size of the game screen and I couldn't change screen, so i just had to stop playing.

Recent Audio Reviews

Thousand Dollar Bills Thousand Dollar Bills

Rated 5 / 5 stars

My ears are happy

This is amazing. If the complex melody wasn't great enough the lyrics fixed my jewishness. The orgasmic groans pretty much made me give money to charity to fund projects like this.

Everyone Poops: Read By Gory Everyone Poops: Read By Gory

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

A Whale makes a big poop

But you would smear it all over yourself anyway.
Hilarious, but you're a bit quiet

GoryBlizzard responds:

As I was recording this, I sounded quiet indeed, but the recording itself is perfectly audible and clear so I don't see what the problem is.

Cadaver Fisting: Gory Style Cadaver Fisting: Gory Style

Rated 5 / 5 stars

You are the best

You have one of the sickest senses of humor (if this is a joke) and your delivery of your "jokes" makes them even funnier.

GoryBlizzard responds:

Everyone seems to like my delivery, but it's honestly the only way I can deliver. I have no vocal range, emotion, enthusiasm, etc. This is a cover of a brutal death metal song and my version doesn't sound anything even remotely like the original.

Recent Art Reviews

Hillside by Moonlight Hillside by Moonlight

Rated 0 / 5 stars

why is the sun out at night

why is the sun out at night

Smittytheghost responds:

because it's the moon.


Rated 0 / 5 stars

Fucking awful

A nonsensical mess, no humor, or any visible attempt at humor.
Using the word "story" to describe this shit is a crime, so I will say, the events have no relation to each other, or even appear like they're supposed to.
Fucking die.

Sonic vs goku Sonic vs goku

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Pretty Funny.

It's a good drawing,but just a question,Why is sonic running if he's in the air?

HAVT responds:

Because I screwed up, and I was too lazy to correct it.